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Many times our every day lives can overwhelm us and we desperately
need a break. Being a wife, homemaker, and mother can be a
challenge and some days we feel discouraged. That's the time
when we would like to enter the world of make-believe.
Perhaps after we do the dishes, change a diaper, and put
our children down for a nap, we may have an hour to read a
novel and slip into that make-believe world; a world of escape
when our frustrations are high and we desperately need a break
and a place to relax so we can be ready for the next go-around
with our children.
In that little corner is a world that can fill us with wonder,
where dreams can come true, where we can go on an intriguing
adventure, or we can even fall in love all over again...reminding
us of the first time we fell in love with our husbands.
Lucy Montgomery said, "While solitude with dreams is
glorious, solitude without them has few charms."
Jerome Kern wrote, "The game of just supposing is the
sweetest game I know. Our dreams are more romantic than the
world we see."
Perhaps the world we see is full of dirty dishes, soiled
diapers, teenagers arguing over an item that was recently
borrowed without asking, and busy husbands that forget to
give us a kiss before they walk out the door. This can make
a homemaker feel discouraged at times. So, what can we do
to relieve this tension that's built up?
After a big day, I have found myself reading a romantic novel
and when I finished, I felt more refreshed and alive and for
some reason I felt a little more romantic toward my husband.
Why is this? Could it be because I relaxed for a bit and got
my breath back? Or could it have been the novel that was a
reminder to all of us that romance is still alive, even with
a bunch of kids running around our feet. We need to be reminded
of that romantic love and treat our husbands like we want
to be treated. Novels are a "god-send" and can give
us that extra little "umph" that we need. They can
also teach us and remind us where our priorities should be.
My husband and I share the household duties because he knows
that his help gives me more time to do the things I would
like to do. Once my husband walked into the living room and
collapsed on the sofa from a long day. His eyes looked weary
and his body was tired. When I greeted him, I was tired as
well. I had had a long day with the kids, I was pregnant,
and the children had not been complete angels. But something
happened between us that made me realize what kind of relationship
we really had.
Our relatives were visiting when my husband walked in and
greeted me. And then he wearily said, "Would you mind
undoing my shoelaces? I'm too tired to bend over."
I didn't mind, so I sat on the floor and undid his shoelaces.
One of our relatives scoffed and said, "He can undo his
own shoelaces. Don't you know about Women's Liberation? We're
liberated from such demeaning tasks as this. Besides that,
you're pregnant and it's difficult for you, as well."
I just smiled patiently and said, "I do for him what
he would do for me. We give and take in our marriage. He cooks
when I'm tired and I undo his shoelaces when he's tired. Relationships
are founded on compromise and love."
Novels can help us remember our priorities when we are so
dogged tired and just want to take our relationship for granted.
In my novel, "Melinda and the Wild West",
we can imagine how it feels when Gilbert gazes warmly at Melinda,
studying her face, as if memorizing every contour of it. We
can imagine how it feels when he presses his warm lips to
hers, making her heart swell within and feeling as if some
inner joy were ready to burst forth.
Then we remember what it was like to be in love and all our
frustrations leave as we sigh and close the novel, just waiting
to pick it up when we have time the following day.
How many times have you wished to go on an adventure in the
jungles of South America, follow Harry Potter into a magical
world, or to fall in love all over again?
When we slide our hands around our husband's waist and give
him a hug, we can "make-believe" that we are young
again and realize that our love is greater now than the first
day of our marriage. Sure, we have those tough days and wonder
if we were destined to change diapers and clean house for
the rest of our lives, but we can get through it. We're tough
and we can do anything we set our minds to.
When you read a novel and it describes how Gilbert cradled
Melinda in his muscled arms and gazed into her eyes with adoring
love, think of the adoring love you have for the man you married.
When he cooks for you, don't take that for granted. When he
watches the children so you can have a halcyon day to yourself,
be grateful for his help. Appreciate what he does for you
just like we want him to appreciate us. Think of how it feels
when your sweet husband smiles across the table and then plan
a romantic get-away once in a while.
Just remember that "if the things we dream about don't
happen to be so, that's just an unimportant technicality."
The happy ending in the novels you read can happen if you
only let it. Life is worth living and it will become what
we make of it. Just remember to pick up a novel and take some
time for yourself and "Make-Believe."
Written by Linda Weaver Clarke
Bio: Linda Weaver Clarke
received her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Theatre and Music
at Southern Utah University and received the Outstanding Non-Traditional
Student Award for the College of Performing Arts in 2002.
She is the mother of six daughters and the author of "Melinda
and the Wild West, A Family Saga", a Historical Fiction
Novel.
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